As wildfires continue to burn around our communities and we are grappling with so much pain and uncertainty, it can be hard to know what to say or do. This becomes even more difficult when you have children who are also scared and confused. But it is important to know that this is normal and to have compassion for yourself as a parent and as a person. There is not one correct way to think, feel, or be right now and as circumstances change, so will our responses. As you explain to your children what is going on, also find ways to care for yourself and get your needs met too. Below are some tips for how support your children through this difficult time:

• Use age-appropriate language to explain what is going on. As parents we want to protect our children from scary things happening in the world, but letting your children think the worst without the correct information tends to be more harmful to them.
• Model remaining calm and using coping strategies if needed. For younger children it may be helpful to make coping strategies into a game (Simon Says with muscle relaxation, seeing who can breathe in and out the longest, playing ISpy to work on grounding, etc).
• Be flexible. Oftentimes kids (and adults) try to assert control over small things when bigger things are out of their control as a way to cope. If your child becomes more stubborn about what they want to eat or wear, provide them with autonomy as a way of recognizing their need to feel safe and in control over something.
• Validate thoughts and feelings. Let your child know that whatever they are thinking or feeling is okay. This establishes a safe space to express themselves and process what is happening. This is also a great opportunity to model sharing your own feelings.
• Utilize transitional objects. When big changes happen, it can be soothing to have something that stays with you during that change. For some kids that may be a stuffed animal, an item of clothing, or even your presence as their parent. Emphasize the constancy of that thing even as so many other things may be changing around them.
• Prep your child for changes. Whether it is the loss of your home, a neighbor’s home, a beloved community spot, or just general physical changes, it is helpful for your child to be prepared for what your neighborhood may look like ahead of time. Utilize photos and videos from the media as necessary and talk with your child about whether they want to see the changes in person or if they want to look at pictures first.
• Follow your child’s lead. Some kids may become very upset and need to process what’s happening immediately, while others may not want to talk things through until the worst is over. You know your child best and what they will need. If it seems uncertain, let your child know that you are here to talk about what’s going on whenever they want to.

As mental health professionals and fellow community members, Mind Study Center is here to offer support. Stay tuned for additional resources that we plan to offer to our community.

Additional resources:

• https://www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/trauma-types/disasters/wildfire-resources
• https://media.goodinside.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/01/08184711/Gi_ResourcesforParentsNavigatingtheCaliforniaWildfires.pdf
• https://www.aacap.org/App_Themes/AACAP/Docs/resource_centers/disaster/resource_group/resources/parents/Talking-Children-about-Wildfires-and-other-Natural-Disasters.pdf
• https://www.nctsn.org/sites/default/files/resources//parents_guidelines_for_helping_children_impacted_by_wildfires.pdf